These are some of the quick little posts that aren’t long enough to be blog posts, but they are still things that I think you’ll enjoy or find helpful. I call them, “Quick Bites”. A lot of these are on my Instagram and Facebook pages, so if you like what you see, follow me there too. =) Or, if you don’t have either of those, check back here. I’ll be updating this page frequently, with the most recent posts at the top.
To wallow means to roll around in or to lie about and relax. The word is generally associated with misery, self-pity, etc. But why not flip it around and instead, wallow in the good things in life – love, joy, happiness, kindness, self-acceptance, and so on. Relax in the knowledge that you are love and you are loved. When you lay down to go to sleep, think about the things you’re grateful for, or those things that bring you joy and happiness. Replace the thoughts of divisiveness with kindness for yourself and others.
Often, we see resting, or any kind of down time, as separate from the process of growing and moving forward. If we take a day off, or do something that allows our brains to just shut off for a bit, we think we’re hindering ourselves, or slowing progress, but this is all part of it. We can’t be ON all the time. In going with the ebb and flow of activity, we are allowing ourselves to grow and integrate. If we don’t give ourselves time for this integration, we can’t always apply what we’re learning to our daily lives. And if we aren’t applying it to our daily lives, but rather we’re keeping it inside, what’s the point? The whole idea of this spiritual growth thing is to learn things within ourselves and then learn how to include it in our daily lives. Then we can lead by example, and help others along the way as well. Embrace the whole process. Listen to your body. If you are in a season of rest and integration, know that this is ok, and you won’t be there forever. Enjoy it while you are. Life is preparing you for much bigger things…if you allow it to.
When we set boundaries with someone, they will generally try to push that boundary at least a little. The best will just test it and see how far they can get, to learn. The worst will call you selfish, mean, unloving, or tell you that you think you’re better than everyone else. We can’t control whether the people around us learn to respect those boundaries or they don’t; whether they stick around and the relationship strengthens or they move on completely. Either way it goes, you’ll be better off, and the relationship will improve. So stick to it. Remember, you set those boundaries for a reason.
You’re not going to be everyone’s cup of tea…and that’s perfectly OK. If the people around you don’t understand you, find new people. You are amazing, and those things that make you unique, or weird, or quirky, are the very things that other people will be drawn to, and inspired by. You don’t have to continuously explain yourself, or dim your light because others don’t get it. (Even if those people are family or you’ve known them forever.) Embrace your weird and let your light shine bright. The world needs you, just as you are.
Worry makes us feel like we’re doing something. It makes our brains feel like they are protecting us from perceived harm. The next time you find yourself worrying, say this: “I am safe to explore all of my options, without overanalyzing, overthinking, and getting stressed out. No matter the outcome, I am capable of handling it.”
When we remind ourselves of this often, it helps us to feel more secure in actually thinking about the different options we may have, without going down the rabbit hole of worry and anxiety. Our brains think they are keeping us safe through this worry and anxiety because they perceive what we’re going through as an actual threat to our safety.
Repeating this every time we get worried about something can rewire the brain to see opportunities rather than threats. Add the reminder that we are fully capable of handling whatever comes, and this effect is even more powerful. Because often, worry and anxiety come about because we’re afraid we can’t handle what may happen. But we can. We are capable of handling so much more than we give ourselves credit for. We just need a reminder from time to time.
Does anyone else do this? Work on every little thing they can find, that “needs” to be done, to keep from working on the bigger things that you’re afraid of doing. Those things that you know you’ll have to pour your heart into, but you don’t know if anyone will like it. Or those things that are hard; like having a conversation with someone or setting boundaries.
I will find myself cleaning every nook and cranny of our house, or reorganizing things, or creating other little projects I need to do because I’m trying to work my way up to doing the big tasks…the ones that are a little more scary. But those scary tasks are still waiting. And the longer we wait, the scarier they seem.
Confidence comes with doing. Dive into those big tasks today. Or at the very least, dip your toe in and get started. This is your sign. Today’s the day.
Over the last year, I think a lot of us have realized that there are a lot of things, and people, that we would be better off without. Just because things are beginning to open back up, doesn’t mean we have to open back up to having those things, or people, in our lives again.
I’ve become aware of this with several big events in my life. When I went through my cancer treatments, all I wanted was to “get back to where I was before”. But was the before really so great? I finally took a hard look at what I was trying so hard to get back to, and realized that a lot of it was no longer in line with where I was after everything was over. This “normal” I was trying to get back to wasn’t a normal that I wanted anymore.
I invite you to really take a hard look at the things you want, and make sure you still want them. If not, find out what you want now. Don’t get stuck wishing for something that you really don’t want in the first place.
When you sit down to relax, do you still feel like you have to be doing something? Balancing the checkbook, making something, doing computer work, SOMETHING. Or you have to put a load of laundry in and load the dishwasher before you can sit, so you’re not completely wasting your time? You can “just” sit because just sitting is lazy.
I have found myself doing this a lot more lately. This means that even when I’m relaxing, I’m not actually relaxing, so I never feel like I’ve taken time to relax, because I haven’t.
So…if you find yourself doing the same thing…say it with me…”I give myself permission to JUST sit and relax.” And then do it. =)
Save this quote…and the next time you’re focused on your shortcomings…go back and re-read it.
What if instead of seeing what we can’t do as a limitation, we saw it as an opportunity? An opportunity to learn something, OR an opportunity to step back and let someone else shine.
We can’t all be great at everything. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Focus on your strengths and use them to make the world a better place. Leave those things you aren’t so great at for others, who ARE great at them, and cheer them on too.
Do you see the four trees that are leaning to the right? They aren’t going straight up and down like all of the other trees, but they are still growing, thriving, and providing beauty.
Just because you don’t look like everyone else, or do things like those around you, doesn’t mean that you can’t make a difference in the world. Be yourself, even if that self is “weird”. Your unique abilities are needed and can make a difference where no one else can.
Don’t let that role go to someone else.
Your unique abilities and self are what make you perfect for the job. No one knows you, and your story, better than you. You don’t need to look outside of yourself to find someone to save you. Save yourself. Move yourself beyond those obstacles in your life and don’t wait around for someone else to do it. Don’t wait for someone else to see the value in what you can do. See your own value and use it to make the world a better place. Because YOU are awesome.
Shine your light, follow your joy, and be yourself….even if no one else gets it.
What you’ve been through, what you’re going through, and where you are heading, are all a part of what makes you, you. That matters greatly because you have a unique role to fill in this world. One that no one else can step into. Your voice and your story matter because you matter.
Freedom is closer than we think it is. We put fences around ourselves, in the form of the stories we tell ourselves, our limiting beliefs. “I could never do that, I’m not smart enough, pretty enough, qualified enough. People won’t like me. They won’t want to hear what I have to say.” And so on, and so on.
We begin to see these things as solid walls around us, that we can never break through. But if you look a little closer…the gate is open, the fence isn’t connected.
We already have the freedom we want, we just have to take the steps to get there. We have to step outside of those stories that we’re telling ourselves, and stop limiting ourselves.
Be present with what is.
How can one statement be so simple and so complicated all at the same time?
If we aren’t willing to change how we do things, how we look at things, or how we act, then things will never change. It’s such a simple idea. But hard for us to accept and implement sometimes.
We have to be willing to step up, step out, and do the work it takes. The easiest way to do this is to take small steps each day. What can you do today that will get you one step closer to where you really want to be?
Don’t be afraid to be seen starting small. I’ve heard this from several people, but most often from Brendon Burchard. I always thought of it in terms of business, or my website. Not until today did I apply it to other areas of my life.
I have a trip coming up, where I will have the opportunity to take some beautiful hikes. Currently, I’m not in great hiking shape. So my husband and I have been walking and exercising a lot more, to build the strength and stamina I’ll need to enjoy these hikes to the fullest. I used to walk the trail pictured here quite a bit. It has uphill and downhill parts to it. The uphill parts have always kicked my butt. I remember walking up it, out of breath, and thinking of excuses as to why I was so out of shape, just in case anyone saw me. “I hurt my leg, I’m recovering from an illness, I have asthma” All things to keep me from looking as out of shape as I was, because I was too embarrassed to be seen at the beginning of my journey.
Today I realized: 1) What others think of me is none of my business. 2) They probably aren’t even aware of me, because they are thinking about themselves and what they are doing. 3) Everyone has to start somewhere. AND 4) Someone is just as likely to see my huffing and puffing and be inspired as they are to make fun of me.
So….don’t be afraid to be seen starting, to be seen at the beginning of your journey, before you have it all figured out.
Doing something that we deem as “stupid” does not make us a stupid person. Just because we trip and fall, drop food on ourselves, stub our toe, etc. does not change our kindness. It does not change our work ethic. It doesn’t change that we love and care for our family and friends. Doing something “stupid” does not change who you are at your core.
Practice getting into the habit of saying: “I did a stupid thing, I’m not a stupid person”. The more you can do this, the more you detach the thing from you as a person.
When we constantly call ourselves stupid, even in passing when we run into something or drop something, the more we start to believe it. We tell our brains something and it looks for evidence. If we say, “I’m stupid”, we’ll find evidence that we are. But if we say, “I’m smart, I just DID something stupid”, it makes it a one time thing, not who we are as a person, and our brains find evidence of being smart.
And I’m here to remind you: You are not stupid, you are smart, you are loved, and you are worthy of all of the things that you want in life.
I’ve had so many conversations where I can tell the person is just waiting for me to stop talking so that they can start talking. It’s especially evident when what they are telling me has very little, or nothing, to do with what I just said.
This used to leave me feeling like what I had to say isn’t important. What I realized, is that this is more about them than it is about me. If someone chooses to talk at me rather than having a conversation with me, there’s not much I can do about that, other than limit my conversations with that person.
In seeing this, it also made me aware of the fact that I sometimes do the same thing when I’m nervous or meeting someone new. Not because I don’t care what they are saying, or because I want to sound important, but because I’m so nervous about saying the wrong thing that I keep repeating my response in my mind so I don’t forget what I was going to say. I’ve never been great at small talk, and this is part of the reason why.
So I’m putting this reminder out there for myself, and for anyone else who needs it. Listen to actually hear what the other person is saying, not just to reply.
Sometimes you just have to follow the unknown roads and see where they lead. Without being able to see what’s at the end. Without being able to see how it will turn out. Plant the seed that this will be an adventure either way, and go for it.
Replace fear of the unknown with curiosity.